Sep. 29, 2016
Falsity News: BREAKING: Russell Wilson Out For The Season
The Seattle Seahawks offense finally took of in a 37-18 beat down of Their division rival San Francisco 49'ers. That was the good news. The bad news is starting QB Russell Wilson left the game with an injury.
Our very own reporter Steve Clevager (who may be mildly brain damaged) has reported that Wilson is now out for the year. Meaning that it's now hunting season and Wilson will be out all year hunting stuff.
The only real question about the hunting season )which is starting sometime this millennium) is whether or not it's wabbit season or duck season.
I say wabbit season. Woo Nelly (A smelly homeless man with second cousin issues) says duck season. Wabbit season! Duck season! Wabbit season! Duck season! As we argue back and forth, we both realize this is dumb and decide to get a couple of mayonnaise snow cones.
As far as Russy Wilson goes, his hunting season should have no effect on his football playing skills. In fact Wilson is already back practicing for the Seahawks next game against the New York Mets. Should be a slobberknocker!
The preceding was a parody article for entertainment purposes only.