A Bandwagoners Guide to Every NBA Team
Although many people won’t admit that they are a bandwagoner, you know one when you see one. And with the NBA season still in its infancy, it is the perfect time for many non-serious fans to hop on a team’s bandwagon.
With this in mind, I want to try and educate those people in what they should know before they effectively hop on a team’s bandwagon. With a crazy and chaotic offseason that saw many stars change teams, it allows many bandwagoners to hop on that trend and switch their allegiance.
Maybe they are into the favorites like the Warriors, Spurs, or Cavaliers. Maybe they are into the underdog stories like the Clippers, Trailblazers, Raptors, or Celtics. Or Maybe they just like to cheer for their hometown team. In order for your bandwagon friend to not look like a complete fool, here are three things every bandwagoner should know before committing to a ball club.
Atlanta Hawks
1) Dwight Howard is a new man
2) Kyle Korver is the representation of the Caucasian basketball dream
3) I mean their jerseys aren’t the worst. I mean it could be the Clippers.
Boston Celtics
1) Best threat to dethrone the Cavaliers with the addition of Al Horford
2) Just always believe and pray that Jaylen Brown is the next Kawhi Leonard
3) Always thank the Brooklyn Nets for the picks
Brooklyn Nets
1) At least Jeremy Lin is interesting to watch
2) Brook Lopez is now shooting threes and that’s cool
3) I don’t recommend rooting for the Nets unless you are a fan of mediocre basketball
Charlotte Hornets
1) KEMBA WALKER IS NIIIIICE
2) One of the best looking jerseys in the league
3) Michael Jordan is still a terrible owner
Chicago Bulls
1) This team would be title contenders in 2011
2) The combination of Dwyane Wade, Rajon Rondo, and Jimmy Butler is probably the weirdest big three
3) The Bulls will do really well in the playoffs
Cleveland Cavaliers
1) Easiest bandwagon to join because they just won the championship, but it’s overflowing with Lebron worshipers
2) Always believe that Lebron James is better than Michael Jordan even though it may not be true
3) If a Warriors fan brings up their team, always bring up Game 7 of the 2016 NBA Finals
Dallas Mavericks
1) Dirk is still there and Dirk will always be great. No matter his age
2) Harrison Barnes is playing productively and efficiently but is still extremely overpaid
3) I mean they have Curry... Seth Curry...
Denver Nuggets
1) Arguably the most athletic team with Emmanuel Mudiay, Kenneth Faried, and Will Barton.
2) Among the young teams overflowing with talent
3) The international tandem of Nikola Jokic and Jusef Nurkic is European’s perfect basketball dream
Detroit Pistons
1) Learn to say “DEEEETROOOOOOOIT BAAAAASKETBAAAAAAL” and “DETROIT VS EVERYBODY”
2) Oh and say “It’s because Reggie Jackson is injured” until Reggie Jackson comes back
3) Andre Drummond is one of the best centers in the league
Golden State Warriors
1) 3-1 lead? That’s old.
2) Kevin Durant. Stephen Curry. Draymond Green. Klay Thompson. Javale McGee.
3) They’re going to win the championship
Houston Rockets
1) JAMES HARDEN FOR MVP
2) Mike D’Antoni is unlocking the Houston Rockets offense
3) Dwight Howard who?
Indiana Pacers
1) PAUL GEORGE FOR MVP
2) Myles Turner will become one of the best centers in the league in a few years
3) Great team on paper. Decent team on the court.
Los Angeles Clippers
1) Just hope they can make it out of the second round
2) Deandre Jordan still can’t shoot free throws
3) Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, and Deandre Jordan can still cause problems in the Western Conference
Los Angeles Lakers
1) D’Angelo Russell has the keys to the car and has ice in his veins
2) Best scoring bench in the whole entire association
3) THANK YOU LUKE WALTON
Memphis Grizzlies
1) For the old school fans
2) Vastly overpaid for non-star players
3) Chandler Parsons has good hair? I don’t know. There’s really nothing pleasing about them
Miami Heat
1) Ummmmm… I guess Hassan Whiteside is good
2) One of the best defensive teams with Whiteside and Justise Winslow (in a few years).
3) Burn your Pat Riley jerseys for letting go of Dwyane Wade
Milwaukee Bucks
1) The Greek Freak is breaking the idea of positions
2) Need to come up with a nickname for Jabari Parker so he can be named alongside Greek Freek
3) Thon Maker is around 19 to 25 years old
Minnesota Timberwolves
1) Karl-Anthony Towns, Andrew Wiggins, Zach Lavine, Ricky Rubio, Kris Dunn, and Gorgui Dieng make the best young rosters
2) Karl-Anthony Towns is the most skilled center
3) Should hop on their bandwagon now before they become title contenders
New Orleans Pelicans
1) There’s Anthony Davis.
2) Half the roster is always injured
3) There really is nothing much after that
New York Knicks
1) This team would win the championship in 2011
2) At least Derrick Rose believes the Knicks are a super team
3) KRISTAPS PORZINGOD
Oklahoma City Thunder
1) The Russell Westbrook show
2) Enes Kanter has no chill on Twitter
3) Burn and actively participate in hate rallies regarding Kevin Durant
Orlando Magic
1) Aaron Gordon is the truth and was robbed the of Dunk Contest trophy last year
2) Elfrid Payton has some wild hair
3) Too many big men with Serge Ibaka, Bismack Biyombo, Nikola Vucevic, and Aaron Gordon.
Philadelphia 76ers
1) JOEL “THE PROCESS” EMBIID
2) Ben Simmons is injured
3) BUY A JOEL EMBIID JERSEY
Phoenix Suns
1) This is Devin Booker’s team
2) Kentucky Suns or Phoenix Wildcats?
3) The future is extremely bright in the valley of the suns
Portland Trailblazers
1) Damian Lillard and CJ McCollum are one of the best backcourts in the league
2) Damian Lillard is Stephen Curry lite
3) Dame D.O.L.L.A by day. Damian Lillard by night
Sacramento Kings
1) Free Demarcus Cousins
2) There’s nothing good outside of Demarcus Cousins
3) If you like being frustrated, then the Kings are the perfect team for you
San Antonio Spurs
1) Still beat the Warriors by 29 on opening night
2) Still can make the finals even without Tim Duncan
3) Kawhi Leonard is the silent assassin
Toronto Raptors
1) This is Drake’s team so make sure to listen to a lot of Drake songs and follow him on instagram
2) Kyle Lowry and Demar Derozan create one of the best backcourts in the league
3) Still can dethrone the Cavaliers if everything goes in their favor
Utah Jazz
1) Supposed to be really good this year
2) The combination of Rudy Gobert and Derrick Favor make probably the best defensive big men duo in the league
3) Make sure to vote for Gordon Hayward to participate in the All Star Game
Washington Wizards
1) Pray and hope that Bradley Beal doesn’t get injured
2) John Wall is a top point guard in the league and is jealous that he’s underpaid.
3) The offseason should be considered a failure since they failed to lure Kevin Durant
