An Adventuresome Journey of the Little Brown Jug

(a Lord of the Rings and Halloween parody)

My dad and I went to the University of Minnesota Gophers-Michigan Wolverines football game Saturday night (Halloween).  A storied rivalry of long tradition for a Little Brown Jug of a trophy (the longest trophy game in NCAA history) and decidedly one sided toward the Wolverines in the last 2 decades. But alas, our fictional Frodo Baggins (Jerry Kill) ventured into the Mordor of the Big Ten last year (the Big House of Michigan) and won back the Little Brown Jug in dominant fashion and restored faith in the Shire of football land we call Minnesota.

But now our hero had recently sailed off to the Undying Lands of Valar (the ships destination that everyone got on at the end of Lord of the Rings Triology) and left his reign over to the new King Aragorn (Coach Tracy Claeys).  Surely King Claeys would begin his new reign in proper honorary fashion. However Mt. Doom (Michigan) had replenished and reinforced it's evil forces with a new gruesome leader in Coach Jim Harbaugh.

The evil forces struck hard and fast, taking a commanding 14-3 lead. The new evil looked overwhelming, powerful and more than our forces (Gophers) could handle. But our new King had learned well and launched an aggressive counter attack of 13 unanswered points to take a 16-14 half time lead. The sun was beginning to shine (on the skyline of Minneapolis), good would overcome evil once again.

However this was at dusk and evil becomes stronger at night and Michigan marched their forces down the field on the 2nd half opening drive for a 21-16 lead. However the new King called upon the inspiration of the newly christened hero as chants of Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! rained down from the costumed and enthused patrons of the Shire,  inspiring a momentum shift in the battle.  An onslaught of 10 unanswered points put our beloved Gophers on top 26-21, on the brink of a tremendous victory in honor of the hero and to a start of the new reign of King Tracy.   Our combatants had knocked out the top warrior of Michigan (starting quarterback Jake Rudock),  one more finishing blow (touchdown) and the battle would be won.

But alas darkness lurks in the hearts of evil men and a tremendous effort from off there backs bounced the Wolverines up to a 29-26 lead with 5:35 to play, a dagger to the side of the Gophers. So many previous battles had been lost with similar effort.  Ahh but our charlatan.....Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!  

So begins the final attack for our departed heroine, the Gopher forces pounded away at the defenses of our Wolverine enemy and ducked a death blow (a remarkable, reviewable 4th down conversion from KJ Maye) in an attempt to deliver a finishing thrust of the sided dagger. Than it came, the invocation of the football gods, a floating TD 23 yard pass to bring our heroes to victory.  What an adoration to our newly fallen hero!!

Wait, replay has infiltrated our story, our receiver has been called down at the 1/2 yard line with 19 seconds left!  Even better, our hero has called for no time for evil forces to launch another counter attack.  But alas, our new King forgot the lesson on clock management and click, click, click time is running out on our new King as we shift to find the proper attack (play) to finish our foe 4 seconds 3 seconds our attack (play) doesn't work. What?  Ah, but wait our hero called on the wizard Gandalf to magically stop the clock with 2 seconds left.  A chance for King Tracy to tie the score and gather our forces at home to win in overtime.

But King Tracy wanted to start his own reign and establish himself as the only new hero and King and goes for his death blow, the game winning touchdown....  We gather our forces in a time out, the robed Shire roars with spirited support,  the King and his Royal Court come up with our best planned attack, a QB sneak.....against the eviler foes. The foes laughed at our attack and beat us back to secure a victory.   Wait....what...this isn't our story book ending, a victory for the fallen hero?  Michigan 29 MN 26.....

No, our hero was well remembered and new King Tracy was overcome by a more experienced warrior on the final play. King Tracy showed he can lead our forces well, but can he to lasting, repeated legendary victories?   We'll have to look to a return trip to Mordor in 2016 if King Tracy still reigns to retrieve the taken Little Brown Jug.  

Sports is fun and its stories and games keep us entertained.  My dad and I will be back for another adventure, good health willing, at another time.  Isn't that really what it's about.  

As for this Halloween parody tale, we were treated to an entertaining night of football and people watching, but tricked by the evil Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines.