At some point you've got to level up right?
By Rich Winter
There I was Tuesday afternoon, sitting in the gym at Diabetes Prevention, having just completed ten minutes of excruciating mental agony on an elliptical and then strapping myself into a stationary bike because I couldn't find an open treadmill. Happy enough to have overcome the mental hurdle of making it back to the gym for a second day in a row, I was fairly content to keep the bike in first gear, you know, level one. Ahhhh, level one, on a bike it's kinda like driving downhill with an 80 mile tailwind at your back....You're really just coasting. So, with the mental fragility of a 2-year old I leveled up to level 3 and immediately ran into a brick wall.
Thank God for level 2...where I immediately went after a few pulls at level 3.
Was trying to write something yesterday and I got stuck on the opening picture...What am I going to put up there that represents how I'm feeling inside.
The Fat mouse from Cinderella, think his name is Gus kinda represents how I feel.
Yep, Cinderella, a little shout out to my real family and perhaps a little mean spirited poke at my blood relatives, and a fat guy struggling to keep exercising even though it seems kinda hard.
I went with the Don''t Quit moniker because I'm trying to change my body, my mind and ultimately my self image a bit. At the risk of making this about me, I desperately want to ride off into the sunset on Jan. 1 with my weight under 225 pounds. Don't wanna be just one more person that says they are going to do something and never quite reaches the goal.
So, course update:
* Someone asked me if I had quit smoking...Ha, I replied, not yet....I'm sorry I'm not one of those people that can rip that scab off and just quit and go about like everything's all better. A couple weeks ago my workout partner, on occasion, Lori Walking Eagle, asked me why I smoked....What are you covering up or hiding from because you smoke? Damn her....I just wanna quit, I don't want to examine myself one single more second, but alas, there was some truth to her question, a truth, I'm not quite ready to dig all the way into. Some progress, yesterday, just before the paper came to my work which requires several hours of uninterrupted attention, I didn't get my normal smoke on so I was craving a cig about 8:00 a.m.. Well, the papers showed up and I'm in mental agony. Thought about it and decided I was going to go without until I had to make a postal delivery. Got into my work and after about five minutes of hell, the world and me kept on turning. A few minor success like that throughout the day as I sorta questioned whether I needed that cig or I didn't.
* Don't get cocky Winter - Having made it to the gym Tuesday afternoon, and then again Wednesday morning, I was feeling pretty good about my efforts. After 20 minute of cardio, I pushed through one set of reps on the Diabetes Prevention machines and started in on round number two even though my mind was telling me to be satisfied with just one rotation of six machines. Got through the 4th machine the second time around and gave myself, in the mirror, a little fist pump. It wasn't so much a fist pump of man I did this it was more like bring on the last two machines, I got this. That said, I've been to this point before. Make a few changes, spend a few days in the gym and suddenly I'm feeling pretty good about myself. In most cases, I feel good and forget that I've got a long way to go and usually that feeling good translates into slipping back into the same ugly routine that's gotten me to where I am right now so many times before.
And so, it is with cautious optimism that I look forward to day four at the gym today. It's a cardio day and dang if I'm not going to be satisfied with where I am...Level two, here I come.
