The Crewe Goal: A Love Story of Pure Talent!
Some of you know me, some of you do not. But this story can be appreciated by all. You see, I used to be a hockey god. Not in the way Wayne Gretzky was but more of an Indie favorite. If I was on the internet, I would be that anonymous youtube video with over a million hits or the unknown twitter account with 150k followers. But I did have my own following. I even had my own facebook group... with 28 members... mostly family... But I digress.
As a kid we always played some form of hockey. I wobbled up and down the ice during house league games and did much the same on the road in front of my house. As is customary, we had the net so we always hosted. It was here I honed my skills.
I am sure you all had a friend like me, low on talent but high on desire. I would dig and slash at the ball or puck until it eventually stuttered over the crease. This became my signature move. I would park my big ass in front of the net and stay there until the puck was cleared or in the net. Some even thought I should have a beeping noise installed to warn people when I was backing up.
As kids, we played for hours; only stopping to devour a plate of mom's popular chocolate chip cookies or a helping of egg rolls. We had a great cast of characters but my main two buddies were Lloyd and Darren. Funny enough, despite their friendship, they were also the two who were most likely to fight. Darren once threatened to beat Lloyd with his stick once as they ran around the block. It was such common place that we never even reacted.
It was on those streets that the skills were honed but it was not until I made it to university that the legend was unleashed. We played in the basement of Jones House at the University of New Brunswick. Everyday there was a group of guys playing 3 on 3.
The set up and rules were simple:
1. Nets were turned on end
2. Games to ten and a series of 3 out of 5 or 4 out of 7 or more if desired
3. No shooting before half
4. Goalies ball after goals
5. Limited body contact
There was also a guideline which became my nemesis: the prettier the better.
There was a lot of talent and love for the game in the basement games. Dan played like the ball was attracted to his stick with a magnet. Lloyd and the Vyes did their best Doug Gilmour imitations. Brian flopped around the net despite the lack of goalies. But my ability was most revered and it became known as the Crewe Goal.
You see I lack speed and grace. I am the kid who could barely walk a straight line without tripping. A bull in a china shop would do less damage than I would. But I could score. Unfortunately, it was not the type of goal the Jones boys wanted. While they liked to pass and play tippy tap hockey, I tended to be more creative. I would put the ball in the net in the ugliest fashion possible.
I could back up in front of the net and shoot it between my legs.
I could shoot from barely over half and score. (Highly frowned upon!)
I could bank it off a defenders butt and in. (I did see Gretzky do this once and it became my favorite.)
If a goal was ugly, I could score it. It even got to the point where the guys would not let me play unless I agreed to give up my ugly goal ways and play their way. Because it was so much fun, I caved and agreed to shy away from my nature talented self. But every hero has a coming out party.
It was the dead of winter and we did not have a lot of players. Tom invited some guys to the game who were not the normal group. These guys just wanted to score and win. There was no appreciation for the basement etiquette. No flare, no extra passing, just boring goals. We were doing our best and trying to keep up while obeying the rules of the basement but to no avail. In the five game series, we were down 2-0 and we were fading.
It was then Tom came called on me. Dripping of sweat and tired from getting out cans kicked he said, "Crewe, you need to do it. We need Crewe goals." I don't remember much about the rest. It was a blur of greatness and talent, maybe my greatest display of all time.
After the game, we enjoyed cold beer and toasted our victory. As boys were returning from class, Tom would regale them with stories of my greatness. While some of the details changed with each retelling, they all ended the same, "It was an amazing display boys. Crewe, I have no idea how you turned it on so easily."
From there, my Jones house legend was born. In reunions with these guys since, someone will mention a Crewe goal they have seen or talk of Pure Talent. (My response to every inquiry about a suspect goal was to say, "Just Pure Talent Boys.")
It was some of the greatest fun a group of guys will ever have!
Side note: I thought I would include some examples to help you understand their beauty.
#4 would not have counted in the basement despite the clever bouncing idea... I did that too!
