THE RAYROC TOP 25 CFB TEAMS - week 7
1. ALABAMA (6-0)
- Ole Deebo took care of business at Arkansas. Alabama is better than I thought they were offensively. Right now the SEC West is still the best division in all of college football and Alabama's win over Arkansas was more impressive than Ohio State's win over Indiana. This is how Deebo is going to ride up on Butch Jones and the Tennessee Vols down in Knoxville this weekend.
2. OHIO STATE (5-0)
- Watching the Indiana and Ohio State game was like watching a teenager arm wrestle his father. Ohio State was looking shaky in the beginning and allowed Indiana to hang in there for a while, but once again the Buckeyes showed who had the most speed, strength and power in the end. OSU can't afford to get off to a slow start this weekend in Wisconsin.
3. MICHIGAN (6-0)
- Jim Harbaugh and the Wolverines completely annihilated Rutgers Saturday night. They sent a warning shot to all of college football, and that is, "WE ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY!" Even a lil Scarlet Knight baby tried to enjoy his meal and watch the game but by the end of the 4th quarter he looked at the scoreboard like:
4. CLEMSON
- Clemson looked awfully good vs Boston College last Friday night and they won't have any problems in their upcoming game against North Carolina State either. Moving Michigan ahead of Clemson is like giving the MVP trophy to Tim Duncan in '02 when Allen Iverson led the league in scoring. I know Clemson fans are looking at me like:
5. WASHINGTON (6-0)
- Two weeks ago the Huskies were NWA, but Saturday they were Elmer J. Fudd. They told all of college football, "Shhh! Be vewwy, vewwy quiet.... I'm hunting duck!" It clearly was duck hunting season because Washington beat the quack out of the Ducks. They ended a long and dreadful 12 year run by Oregon in a major way. Oregon is the guy in high school who is known for his fancy wardrobe and having the Jordan 3's before everyone else but he isn't very smart and he can't fight, so it was only a matter of time before he got beat up and jacked for his shoes.
6. TEXAS A&M (6-0)
- The Aggies look like the food served at a formal banquet. The food looks delicious, but chances are it lacks seasoning and people are only going to eat it because it's there and they don't have anything else from which to choose. People will eat some of it and then try to give the rest away to someone at their table. Translation = Texas A&M looked great in their win over Arkansas but they tried their best to give the game away to Tennessee late in the 4th quarter.
7. LOUISVILLE (4-1)
- Louisville is like that pretty and popular girl you were going to take to the prom, but once you arrived in a limo to pick her up she had a cold sore on her top lip, so you told the limo driver to hit the gas and keep it moving. Translation = Louisville is still a great team and there is a strong chance they will win out but that one loss to Clemson will stop them from going to the big dance (CFB Playoff).
8. BAYLOR (5-0)
- Baylor is the well dressed man in a suit who squeezed his way onto a crowded elevator and let off a silent but deadly fart. Everyone is looking around trying figure who passed the gas bomb but no one says a word. Once the guy gets off the elevator the stench is gone and everyone now realizes who was the culprit. Translation = Baylor has no business being in the top ten, and once they lose and leave the top 10 everyone will know just how bad they stink.
9. NEBRASKA (5-0)
- Nebraska is the regular dude on the job who began third or fourth in charge in his department. While on vacation he gets a phone call that he is now getting promoted to supervisor. He was an average worker in previous years and he knows good and well he didn't do anything special to earn such a highly regarded position in the company. Translation = Nebraska was an afterthought in the preseason, but after five wins and a bye week they found themselves in the RayRoc top 10 and first place in the Big 10 West.
10. TENNESSEE (5-1)
- Tennessee is guy who was playing black jack against the dealer and kept getting lucky hands. He was up a ton of money and decided to bet it all on his last hand in which he was dealt a 12 and the dealer had a 2 showing. Instead of taking a card he stayed on 12 and the dealer flipped over a 10 and then pulled a 9 to make 21. Some people don't hit a 12 vs a 12 but the book says to do so. Translation = Had Tennessee gone for 2 after their game tying touchdown vs Texas A&M they would've won in my opinion. Some people disagree but the road team should always go for the win and attempt the 2 pt. conversion. Instead they went to overtime and lost.
11. WISCONSIN (4-1)
- Wisconsin needed a week off after their loss to Michigan. Starting QB Alex Hornibrook didn't do much of anything versus the Wolverines. Former starting Senior QB Bart Houston got replaced a few weeks ago in the Georgia State game and hasn't seen any action since. Head coach Paul Chryst knows he's going to need his Senior QB to step up and be ready to play this week against the Buckeyes in case anything happens to Hornibrook. This is how he's probably following his Senior back up QB Bart Houston around campus:
12. OLE MISS (3-2)
- Ole Miss is that old dude with the cigarette hanging from his lip who chills out at the local corner liquor store dropping knowledge and wisdom on all the customers. He tells stories about how good he could have been and tells them why they should stop drinking, but he ends every conversation with, "Say young brotha, do think you could loan me five dollars?" Translation = Ole Miss does have plenty to offer and could have had a storybook season, but they are going to need some help getting back to contention in the SEC West.
13. FLORIDA (4-1)
- Florida is the dude who didn't study for an upcoming exam and got his prayers answered when the school superintendent announced schools were closed on the day of the exam due to bad weather. Translation = Hurricane Matthew came just in time to save the Gators from getting destroyed by the newly refined LSU Tigers. Truth be told, LSU only lost to Wisconsin by 2 and even though it didn't count they scored on the final play at Auburn. LSU has the eye of the tiger right now. (no pun intended)
14. MIAMI (4-1)
- The 'Canes and their head coach Mark Richt are like the Great Gatsby. They invited everyone to a big ole fancy gala at their home but they were the only ones that didn't show up. Translation = Miami is all about flash. They had a chance to show the college football world just how good they are but they found a way to lose to Florida State at home by one point.
15. WEST VIRGINIA (4-0)
- WV is the dude who quit smoking after doing so for many years. But now he has started chewing tobacco talking bout, "Well, at least I won't end up with lung cancer." Translation = West Virginia is undefeated but it's easy to stop losing when you play bad teams. I know West Virginia will choke again at some point during the season, but I just can't say when.
16. HOUSTON (5-1)
- Houston is the guy who thought he was fit for the Navy Seals and found out quickly that he is not as tough as he once thought. I guess the basic underwater demolition training was too much. Translation = We found out that Houston is a soft team without any toughness on defense. Navy had Houston beat from start to finish, and pretty much did whatever they wanted all game long
17. BOISE STATE (5-0)
- If Nebraska is the guy who got promoted on his day off then Boise is the guy who was last in line at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles and was about to be late for work but managed to move to the front of the line in a hurry. Several people in front of him had other things to do, got impatient and walked out without getting their license renewed. Translation = Boise began the season unranked, but they made their way into the top 20 because the some of the people in front of them lost.
18. WESTERN MICHIGAN (6-0)
- The Broncos are like the sun. They have a warm, powerful presence and brighten up college football's day without ever going noticed. In the fall the sun takes a while to rise but eventually it does. Translation = WMU got off to a slow start vs Northern Illinois but eventually they pulled away. The Broncos have a great chance of earning a New Year's Six bowl berth if they continue their winning ways.
19. FLORIDA STATE (4-2)
- Florida State is the dude who wakes up in the middle of the night a sees the sun. Some people rise and fall but others rise in the fall. Translation = Adversity (darkness) is the best time to Rise and Shine. Florida State took a beating from North Carolina the previous week, but they woke up and knocked off Miami down in the sun and fun of South Beach.
20. VIRGINIA TECH (4-1)
- Virginia Tech is that kid who was born as a result of an extramarital affair (former Big East School). His father plays favorite to the children he has from his marriage and he doesn't want to acknowledge his outside son. Well pops, you better be careful with this one because he could be the one out of all the kids to grow up to be something and hold a serious grudge against you. Translation = The ACC has it's favorites right now (Clemson, Louisville, Miami, and FSU) but after watching VT beat UNC like they stole something, the ACC better treat Virginia Tech with some respect before it's too late.
21. UTAH (5-1)
- Utah is that lethargic bouncer at the club who wants everyone to like him. He loves his job for social reasons, but he doesn't do it well. He doesn't check all ID's, allows people to cut the line, doesn't pat everyone down, and doesn't enforce the dress code. One day he's going to let the wrong crew (Washington) into the club and something bad is going to happen. Translation = The Utes are cool and are handling their business for the most part. They looked good against USC but they got sloppy against Cal, which tells me they may or may not show up depending on who they are playing.
22. OKLAHOMA (3-2)
- Oklahoma is that recovering alcoholic who has been sober for a few weeks but he keeps hanging out in bars saying things like, "Aw dawg I'll be straight. I can take care of myself. All it takes is a little discipline." I'm not saying it's not possible to remain sober in a room full of alcohol but I am saying this: Oklahoma keeps playing with fire. They aren't strong enough to win the Big 12 if they keep giving up more than 40 points on defense.
23. SOUTH FLORIDA (5-1)
- South Florida is that mysterious cousin by marriage on your father's side of the family. They are your uncle's ex wife's 2nd cousin but y'all still consider yourself cousins. They show up to the family reunion uninvited just to eat and run. They don't know any names, but they get comfortable for a short while until people start asking them questions they can't answer. As they start to make to go plates, someone says, "You boys sure didn't speak to anyone and didn't stay long." Translation = South Florida is very capable of winning their conference and would be more than welcome to stay in the RayRoc top 25, but looking at their upcoming schedule makes it hard to say whether or not they will stay long or remain in this family.
24. ARKANSAS (4-2)
- The Hogs remind me of that dude who tries really hard but doesn't always make good grades. Every year he has a tough class load and he does well in some but fails at others so he comes across as not being a good student, but if he could take easier courses he would be an honor student. Translation = Arkansas is a good, competitive football team. Their only problem is that year in and year out they play in the toughest division in all of college football so they always lose a few games. If they were in another division in some of the weaker Power 5 conferences they wouldn't lose a game.
25. AUBURN (4-2)
- Auburn is college football's version of apple pie moonshine made with Everclear. They are very strong and smooth in a sneaky kind of good way. If you're not careful it will knock you out. Translation = Auburn only lost to Clemson by 6 in week one and played Texas A&M very tough for the most part. They can sneak up on a few teams in the SEC West and knock them out of the title race.
