Stand by Your Man...

By luminamartin
Nov. 18, 2016

Remember when the song by Tammy Wynette “Stand By Your Man” hit the airwaves way back in 1968? Yeah, me neither. I wasn’t born yet. If you were born by then and do remember, well, good. I’m glad you’re still here with us!

This song was playing through my head when I read the tweets from some girl named Kate Upton.  Oh wait, that's not just some girl.  That's internationally known Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model and actress Kate Upton.  That could explain some of the hubbub.  Why would her tweets catch the attention of someone that writes about baseball and life? Well, it just so happens her man is none other than Justin Verlander, the hard throwing pitcher for the Detroit Tigers. If you didn’t know, they had a vote on who was the best pitcher in the American League this past season, the Cy Young Award, and though Justin V. got the most first place votes, he did not have as many total votes as the winner, Rick Porcello of the Boston Red Sox.

In a very colorful way, this Kate Upton sends out a NSFW tweet calling out the process and that J. Verlander was essentially robbed of winning the award. Was she out of line by speaking up for her fiance? Well, one writer for the NY Daily News thought she should “pipe down”. As all of us married folks know, the best way to deal with a woman is by telling them to “pipe down”. Ha ha! I think the only appropriate time to use  the words "pipe down" with the beautiful woman in your life is in the sentence, "Will you please put the metal pipe down, so I can apologize for saying "pipe down"?"  Fortunately, I've never had to make that request in my marriage. 

This, of course, led Justin Verlander to feel the need to stick up for his woman.  He fired back at the writer to protect his future wife. The age of social media makes it quite easy for these exchanges to occur. Gone are the days of when you would have to drive all the way down to someone’s office before exploding into their office and firing a baseball at the wall to get your point across. Now, you can use emoji’s and a keyboard. It’s probably saving the environment that way.

I’m not one to say if she was right or wrong. I won’t even say whether he was right or wrong for standing up for her. I will say that I’ve been in the same situation as a married man.

The beautiful thing about a relationship is that you and your partner become one. It’s amazing how when your partner feels pain, you feel pain. When your partner feels adulation, you feel the same joy. So, is it any wonder why Kate would feel so upset about Justin’s Cy Young diss?

A mutual acquaintance of ours once made a comment that made my wife feel quite badly during one of her pregnancies. An off hand remark that meant no harm was made. However, harm was caused because it hurt my wife’s feelings. I was upset that this acquaintance would be so insensitive. So, I made the decision to stick up for her. The next time I saw this person, I made it clear that the comment was not appreciated and an apology was in order. I felt like “The Man” after being so bold and sticking up for my woman.

When I told my wife of this encounter, I was ready for the admiration. I was certain she would be telling all of her friends and family what a great person I was. My face fell when she responded.

“How could you? I am so embarrassed!”

I was shell shocked. I thought I was being noble, but apparently my wife disagreed. She didn’t want any attention and wanted the moment to just slip by, but my actions meant she would have to live in that moment a little longer. She would have to face that guy again and have another conversation with the impending apology. She was mortified.

In the end, she did thank me for coming to her side in the name of love. I wonder if a similar conversation occurred in the Upton-Verlander household. Did Justin admonish her for speaking out at first but then thank her for being loyal? Who knows? Well, I guess they would know, but I don’t know them well enough to ask.

I refuse to place judgement towards her or Justin because it’s probably the same situation that would have occurred if I were lucky enough to have that experience. I like the fact that my wife and I stick up for each other and don’t take nothin’ from nobody! We’re a team and even if we don’t agree with the actions of the other, we always have each other’s backs in the end. That’s the point of a relationship. There is strength in numbers. Life is hard and no one really has a clue of what’s going on, so it’s nice to have a partner to help get you through the muck. I wish Kate and Justin “UpLander” all the best in their relationship and future marriage. Oh, and Justin totally got hosed on that vote, in my opinion.