I refuse to look back thinking things were better just because they're younger days...
A couple of weeks ago I was driving in the eastern part of the state, I know the sky wasn't as blue...the air not nearly as clean, but as I drove from Sioux Falls to Brookings I happened onto a top-40 radio station and as I'm listening to the commentator introduce the song 'Kids' by One Republic, the guy doing the talking said 80's music legend, Peter Gabriel had some influence in the song.
Listened to it, LOVED it (rare for me to like something new), and now, I can't stop listening to it.
Really liked two lyrics from the song....
And on most of the days we were searching for ways To get up and get out of the town that we were raised, yeah, 'cause we were done
I refuse to look back thinking days were better Just because they're younger days
I might comment on those two items sometime in the future, but, for today, I'll leave that open to interpretation. For whatever reason those two lyrics meant something to me and in some ways I derive inspiration from those words.
Ahhh, inspiration, where does it come from?
I've seriously been a walking, think-a-holic the last 24 hours. The announcement to the 5's of 10's of people (actually 400) that I'm a smoker and that I set goals to quit by Lakota Nation and get to 225 pounds by New Years (who changes fitness ideas just before the Holidays), just made my head spin. A few likes on Facebook and some heart-felt good lucks just made me think more. Should I write something once a day, twice a week...How do I not offend people by writing about myself all the time and making this about me (I've renowned for making it about me), how do I include others that are close to me, or others I find inspiration in, How do I not turn this into some sappy, let me be the light and inspiration so you to can lose weight and get healthier commentary?
Seems like for the entirety of my adult life I've always gleaned little pieces of inspiration from various writings, people, but mostly from music. Little tidbits like when I want to get fired up I'll listen to Judas Priest's - You're got another thing Coming, when I'm sad or melancholy I'll fire up some Enigma - Why (I was childish and unfair To you, my only friend I regret, but now it's too late I can't show you any more The things I've learned from you 'Cause life just took you away I'm asking why I'm asking why Nobody gives an answer I'm just asking why?) Need to get in the right mentality to lift weight or go for a five mile run, let's dial up some Red Rider - Lunatic Fringe, slap the floor a couple times and get after it.
See Joe Larvie out running marathons and hear him give me words of encouragement and it's almost enough to make me get out of bed...Almost. See the weight loss Gina Adrian from White River has experienced and I almost think if she can do it, I can do it!
It seems I've got a lot of wonderful inspiration in my life, and yet, I can't find my own voice. Joe Larvie running won't make me get more fit and Gina Adrian looking all brand new won't make me put the fork down.
Last week I had the distinct privilege to sit in on a Dr. Caesar Cruz presentation at Todd County high school. (man, that guy....had everyone in the gym actively listening and engaged). While his message wasn't remotely directed at me I found my eyes misty early in his presentation as he shared a beyond Panic Button's rank of descriptability good stuff.
One thing that caught my ear was the idea of unlearning how you think about and view yourself. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm a glass half empty guy...Every day I don't quit smoking I identify myself as a loser in some capacity. I want to be ok with the idea that I'm a smoker but I don't like it and I just can't sit down and quit for fear of just how much it's gonna hurt and how inevitably crabby I'm going to be for a week until all the ick seeps outa my system. Having drawn a little inspiration from Cruz maybe I should think of day one with a few small victories.
* Several times during the day I refrained from having a cigarette just because I thought about MY vision quest.
* I went to Rosebud to snap a photo for something and I didn't smoke in the car on the way there or the way back.
* Did not have a soda yesterday and did minimal damage to a tray of pumpkin bars in the office AND had a nice healthy home cooked meal last night.
Instead of feeling failure for the morning's first cigarette, I'm gonna sit back and savor the flavor of doing better yesterday than I did the day before...See, glass half full.
That said, long way to go, gotta find some inspiration...
