Week 3 Takeaways
Short Takeaways from Week 3. Some longer than others, but that’s the luck of the draw.
Here we go!
Rams 41 – 49ers 39
Thursday Night game. See previous blog post
Jaguars 44 – Ravens 7
Ah the London game. Thought that the Ravens were going to jump to 3-0 against the lowly Jags? Plot twist, you thought wrong! Blake Bortles celebrated Halloween early and dressed up as a semi-competent quarterback. As the Queen mum sipped her tea and nibbled a crumpet, Marcedes Lewis (who?) looked like Gronk out there, catching three massive touchdowns.
Bills 26 – Broncos 16
Trap game for the undefeated Broncos, as Rex Ryan’s former team got a big win at home to keep pace with the Pats in the AFC East. I bet John Elway is missing the days of 2013 Peyton Manning after Trevor Siemian threw 2 costly interceptions. Buffalo’s defense continues to dominate this year. The main reason I know this is because newly signed safety, Jordan Poyer, is engaged to Instagram goddess, Rachel Bush (look her up, trust me…).
Bears 23 – Steelers 17
The big story before the game was Mike Tomlin keeping his players in the locker room during the national anthem, in protest of Donald Trump. Unfortunately for Pittsburgh, it seemed like their defense also left a lot of their talent in the locker room before coming out for the game, as Jordan Howard and Tarik Cohen combined for 216 yards on the ground. Mike Glennon got the first win of his Chicago tenure, while Bears’ fan still believe Jim McMahon is their QB and Ditka is their coach (obviously).
Falcons 30 – Lions 26
After their now infamous Super Bowl meltdown, the Dirty Birds have won three close games to jump to 3-0 on the year. With a great battle of the unbeatens, the Lions fell just short as a Golden Tate game-winning TD was overturned. The Falcons continue to get lucky wins, riddled with close-calls, making me begin to wonder if this is Karma from the Super Bowl
Colts 31 – Brown 28
In arguably the marquee matchup of the entire NFL season, Jacoby Brisset and the Colts took on DeShone Kizer and the Browns. All joking aside, this actually became a very well-fought and exciting contest. In his second start in Indy, Brisset threw for his first career TD and ran for two more, having a pretty impressive fantasy day for those fans who were bold enough or dumb enough to start him. Cleveland falls to 0-3 (what else is new?), but it honestly looks like a good 0-3, if that makes any sense. They definitely look better than last year, that’s for sure.
Vikings 34 – Buccanneers 17
Who needs Sam Bradford when you have Case Keenum? Keenum put on a clinic in his second start for the injured Sammy Boy, throwing for 369 yards and 3 TDs. Dalvin Cook had a very nice week as my fantasy RB 1, and the stellar duo of Stefon Diggs and Adam Thielen continues to impress. On the other side, Jameis “Crab Legs” Winston threw a hat trick of interceptions.
Patriots 36 – Texans 33
The Patriots were able to survive the evident trap game, as the ageless wonder, Tom Brady, threw a game-winning touchdown to Brandin “The Chef” Cooks. Rookie DeShaun Watson did his best keeping up with the Uggs model, but that man continues to defy logic. 378 yards and 5 touchdowns and the man is 40 yards old. Tom, I know make fun of you sometimes, but you are god damn impressive.
Jets 20 – Dolphins 6
HAH. This is classic Dolphins right here. Growing up in South Florida and not rooting for the Dolphins has made me constantly taunt and laugh at this team. Jay “No-heart” Cutler got the fans in Miami all cocky after their win against the Chargers and they strutted into the Meadowlands with an air of confidence. What followed was a beat-down by their division rivals, who were also considered, arguably, the worst team in football. The Jets defense shut down the Fins and almost shut them out, if not for a measly garbage time TD to DeVante Parker.
Eagles 27 – Giants 24
UGH. Being a Giants fan, this one hurts. At the start of this season, I was confident, excited, and ready for us to dominate the NFC East, but boy was I wrong. Shut out for the first quarters, the Giants scored 24 points in the 4th quarter but still couldn't get the W. Jake Elliot, recently cut from the Bengals, kicked a 61 yard field goal as time expired to give the Eagles the victory at Lincoln Financial. Odell Beckham caught two amazing touchdowns back to back, but it all means nothing since the team is 0-3. We need to get things together quickly or, if not, we should just tank the season and pray Sam Darnold enters the Draft
Saints 34 – Panthers 13
Drew Brees shredded the Panthers defense for 3 touchdowns, giving Carolina their first L of the season. Will they bounce back? I don’t know, Big Sean, guess we’ll have to wait and see. Cam Newton, much like Jameis, threw a hat trick of interceptions, which means no dabbing and smiling for Cam this week. Adrian Peterson continues to be underutilized, which only increases his chances of murdering Sean Payton by season’s end.
Titans 33 – Seahawks 27
Despite Russell “Ciara’s Husband” Wilson throwing for 373 yards and 4 touchdowns, the Titans got a massive home win. If this same game was played up in Seattle, with those rabid fans getting in Mariota's head, I think there would have been a different outcome. DeMarco Murray looked like his identical twin, “2016 DeMarco Murray”, as he rushed for a 75 yard TD and ended up with 115 yards total. Also, Richard Sherman tried to take Mariota out, permanently, with a late hit on the sideline, but only got one little flag thrown back at him. Titans’ O-lineman Taylor Lewan stirred the pot a little bit, getting into Richard's face and riling up the crowd in Nashville.
Packers 27 – Bengals 24
Wow. For a little while there, it looked like the 0-2 Bengals were going to shock Aaron Rodgers and the Pack at Lambeau. The Bengals led for mostly the entire game, besides a 7-7 tie early on, until a Jordy Nelson TD with 17 seconds left forced overtime. Red-headed step-child, Andy Dalton, won the coin toss for OT but the team punted the ball away after a 3 and out, in classic Dalton fashion. Mason Crosby hit a game winner not too long after that.
Chiefs 24 – Chargers 10
The 3-0 Chiefs! Go back to my first post on this blog, and you'll see that I’ve been on the Chiefs bandwagon since Week 1. Honestly I liked them last season too, but I didn’t have this blog last year. Don't believe me? Well, it's the truth! Rivers joined Jameis and Cam with the hat trick of interceptions in Week 3. Welcome to the club, Philly! Future MVP Alex Smith threw 2 touchdowns, while rookie Kareem Hunt continues to run away with the Rookie of the Year trophy, early on. This man is on a mission, rushing for 172 yards and a TD on just 17 carries! The average comes out to a truly eye-popping 10.1 yards per carry!
Redskins 27 – Raiders 10
On SNF, the boys from DC shocked the Raiders on the big stage of primetime. Derek Carr and Marshawn Lynch couldn’t get anything going, while Kirk Cousins threw for 365 yards and 3 touchdowns. Cousins continues to give off some weird vibes, not as memorable as his "You like that?!", but he's definitely an odd football guy. Running back/receiver Chris Thompson ended up with 150 yards, 6 catches and a TD. Let’s be honest the man is receiver who is labeled as a running back. He is basically the complete opposite of Ty Montgomery last year.
Cowboys 28 – Cardinals 17
I was really hoping for another Dak and Zeke meltdown on primetime television, but that unfortunately did not happen. Each looked solid, as the Cardinals and the ‘Boys played a pretty close game that also happened to be extremely boring. But you know who isn’t boring? The other ageless wonder besides Tom Brady, Larry “Fitz” Fitzgerald. The 34 year old, 10 Time Pro Bowler, had 149 yards on 13 catches and a TD in the loss. Carson Palmer threw for 325 yards and 2 touchdowns, but still pretty looked pretty meh. But that is because it’s Carson Palmer.
