Will Your Team Win Based On Its Name?
Picking a winner in a sports match is hard. Picking the correct winner is even harder. Many readers may do copious amounts of research, look at things like stats, facts, and expert opinion. Unfortunately that process is not only a waste of time but yields the same results as random chance. Picking a game winner in the world of sports is akin to buying a lottery ticket you, there no guarantee you’ve picked a winner. Until now.
I’ve developed a foolproof way to know the outcome of a match well before its begun.
Like many groundbreaking discoveries the answer is simple and right in front of your face. Introducing what time will win based on their team name. Sure the title doesn’t roll if your tongue, but it's the most accurate. You may think team names are just marketing ploys that were drawn from a hat or designed to sell T-shirts. Nay, I tell you. They are so much more. Team names are the secret gateway to success. The team name embodies the essence of a sports franchise. It’s something players live and die by, and today I’ll be correctly guessing the outcomes of nine NHL games based solely on their team name.
Watch and learn.
Maple Leafs vs Canadiens
The Toronto Maple Leafs will win tonight. Why you may ask? How can a group of Leafs beat a group of Canadians? First you must understand that the Maple Leafs take their name from a Canadian Army Regiment. In all scenarios a group of soldiers would win against plain clothed Canadians. I want to be fair, however, and since the Leaf itself has become the calling card of Toronto this matchup is truly leaves vs actual Canadians. How do they win? Simple ‘tis the season where all Canadians are out busy raking the falling leaves. These leaves are a chore a pain to Canadians everywhere. The cause of hurt backs, falls, and most importantly they are a distraction. As the Canadians are busy playing in the leaves the Leafs will attack, coming out victorious.
Bruins vs Red Wings
The Boston Bruins more or less a bear. A bear that has grown up scrounging the streets of Boston living off of beer and Fenway Franks. This creature is angry, this thing is mean. It faces off against a wing? A Red Wing to be exact. Why is this wing red? Is it already covered in the blood of its victims, is it because there seems to be a tire rammed inside of it? No one ones. This is a tough matchup because there are no known instances of bears eating flying creatures, let alone stopping in a sports bar for some Hot Wings. On the other hand can a single wing, possible fueled by a tire take down a bear? The Red Wings win, because Bruins (Bears) are afraid of magic, that's a fact. And a Red Wing with a tire can’t be anything but magic.
Penguins vs Flyers
Penguins win. Penguins can’t fly but they are excellent on the ice. While the Flyers are busy flying, mocking the Penguins from above Pittsburg will attack.
Lightning vs Devils
Lighting vs The Devil a not so subtle reference to the classic battle of Good vs Evil. Lighting is clearly a reference to Zeus’s choice of weapon. As we all know Good always defeats Evil. Expect the Devil to be struck down by Lightning.
Wild vs Stars
Stars are dying (possibly already dead) balls of fire. Wild is wild. It’s a frame of mind that cannot be trusted. I wouldn’t bet against wild and I don’t have faith in a possibly already extinct gaseous ball therefore Wild win.
Kings vs Blues
The royal color is purple not Blue. The Kings win.
Avalanche vs Coyotes
I doubt a coyote, let alone one from Arizona can survive an Avalanche. Colorado will leave the Coyotes shivering for the win.
Capitals vs Canucks
How is a Capital going to play a Canuck. What’s a Canuck? This game will be a draw.
Predators vs Sharks
The fiercest battle of the night. Two true beats meet at last. One a simple predator a nondescript animal with a killer instinct. The other a shark or more aptly Sharks, plural. Although much blood will be spilled, sharks can smell a drop of blood in the water a mile away. Since ice is technically water, I think the Sharks will be victorious.
